Wednesday, January 5, 2011

"The pen is mightier than the sword"

It is often said that the pen is mightier than the sword, but how can that possibly be? Pens are pointy at the end but they're very short. Swords, on the other hand, are sharp all over and very long. There have been plenty of swordfights, but have you ever heard of a penfight? No. And yet still people persist in claiming superiority for the pen!

In the following analysis I have made extensive use of multiple Sciences and Googles to explore this conundrum, in multichart format.

Here we see that from 1550-1590 and 1710-1790 the pen, represented by the blue line, was temporarily slightly mightier than the sword, represented by the red line. At all other times throughout history however, the sword has always been mightierer than the pen.

Why then has this proverb persisted? One theory which has arisen is that a comma is missing from the original proverb, so that it should actually read, "The pen is, mightier than the sword". Science and Googles can be used to test this hypotenuse.

Clearly, the penis, while continuing to gain popularity, has at no time been mightier than the sword, which is not a surprise really since it isn't even as pointy as a pen. Usually.

To confirm these facts, here is a side-by-side comparison of the pen, sword, and penis, all on top of each other.

In conclusion then: unless you're reading this between 1550-1590 or 1710-1790, the sword is mightier than the pen, and I urge you for your own safety to review this scientific evidence before getting into a fight with a swordsman, particularly if your weapon of choice is a penis.


Anonymous said...

Shame the end diagram didn't portray a naked lady lying on her back.

How do I sign this as anonomous by the way ?

Linda Everett said...

you did, you muppet.

Anonymous said...

...can be used to test this hypotenuse?


Anonymous said...

Well, actually the proverb is a misunderstanding, due to a grammatical error. It should actually read: "The penis, mightier than the sword".